i saw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability or just because they thought it was a logical thing to do. then i watched as they became embittered and petty in their dealings with each other. i looked at my parents and saw at best, mutual toleration of each other. they seemed really in love which somehow glow in each other's presence. how can they have survived so many years of sameness, so much irritation at the other's habit? the central secret seems to be in choosing well.

good people can create a bad relationship eventhough they both dearly want the relationship to succeed. the truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long time friends before they realized they are attracted to each other. they got to know each others' laugh, passions, sadness and fears. they share time together before they get swept up into the entangling intimacy. this is the ideal, but not often possible.

laughter is one of the key compatibilities. laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each other's company over the long term. if your laughter together is good and healthy, then you have a healthy relationship to the world.

then, look at the way he or she cares of others and deals with the daily affairs of love. if that makes you love him or her more, your love will grow. if it does not, be careful. if you do not respect the way you each deal with the world around you, eventually the two of you will not respect each other.

if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers. if not then wait. the grace of relationship well prepared is worth your patience.

when time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom.

singapore is the closest country i could feel like i was in the states. the closest border's bookstore i could visit rather than flying long haul to the land of the snow. last september, i took a break from work and flew there and was lucky enough that the room was upgraded and facing the harbour's view. it was one of the nicest visits to singapore i've ever had.

chess and checkers board were put to the guests' enjoyment to play the pastime games. several tents were erected. their bright colors seemed to match the bluish sky above. this was one of the luncheon party held by the brides for her family and closest friends. guests were awed by its decorations and to be honest, i was, too. in three hours i stayed there, i shot hundreds of frames and it was here i shook hand with one of the richest men in the world and chatted with him.

working in the media certainly has its own perk.

during my hiatus from blogging, i was invited to cover a huge wedding party in bali. it covered five resorts, five days and four nights, also lots of important guests.

they flew in the chefs, the entertainers and invited movie stars from their origin country. no wonder, a Singapore Airlines B-777 was parked in the corner of Ngurah Rai International Airport.

the coverage is in the latest edition of the magazine. it was one of a heck experience i've never forget and i felt so lucky being invited. just me and the magazine. not even, harper's bazaar, indonesian tatler, and prestige were permitted.